Thursday, November 21, 2013


This is not exactly the most recommended method of handling your child but when you've exhausted all other reasonable options, sometimes reverse psychology works (at least in part).

Aurora was refusing to stay in her room and was at the point where she thought being returned to her room (or any interaction with a person) was a game and was giggling maniacally while racing off around the house (endangering sick Quinn's sleep). We're trying to teach her to stay in her room at night rather than locking the door but she is extremely resistant to obeying no matter the consequences of disobeying (we've always had a hard time finding consequences that actually motivate her to obey; this story is yet another reminder of that).

Wil finally gave up and said, "Fine. If you're coming out of your room, it must be morning. Give me your pjs and get dressed." He stripped her PJs and gave her a dress and started opening the windows. Aurora stood there in shock for a minute, then started exclaiming, "It's nighttime, Daddy! It's nighttime!" Wil would answer, "If it's nighttime, you would be in your bed. You're out here, so it must be morning." She was totally boggled and began passionately explaining, "Daddy! You're messing up the CREATION STORY! This ISN'T how the world WORKS! You're messing it up, Daddy! It's nighttime! That's how God made it! You're messing up how God made it! It's nighttime! That's how the world WORKS! You're MESSING UP CREATION!!!"

Poor kiddo. She did eventually go to her room after passionately trying to convince Wil that it is indeed nighttime. Now that she's in her room and is quiet, he has been convinced. ;)


(I feel the need to add that people should try to just enjoy the funny story and not give in to the urge to offer parenting advice, if they feel that need. When Aurora hits the point she did tonight, any interaction however calm and any consequence however severe feeds her out-of-control emotional state. She doesn't care what feedback she's getting, she feeds off anything she gets. Distracting her with a shocking logical argument may have been the best way to jolt her out of it. Heaven knows we try hard to prevent these things from happening.)

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Confessions of a Worn-Out Mommy

I haven't been blogging much at all for the past 6 months. The kids are taking up more time and attention (I thought they needed more attention when they were babies!) and, most importantly, more energy. But mainly I've been pouring myself into trying to figure out Aurora.

I haven't talked much about our struggles with Aurora here on the blog. I've tried to keep most things here about the happy, fun memories mixed in with some of the less-appealing stuff that might help others (like Quinn's food issues and sleep issues). If you're friends with me on Facebook, you've gotten more glimpses of our struggles to parent our sweet girl.

This year, back in April, we decided to try to find out if there's more we can do to help her. After 6 months, all we know is that Aurora is a puzzle. At home, according to several standard assessment forms, she has a strong likelihood of having something going on. In the testing environment, most of those same issues showed up, but not as strongly. Professionals who interact with Aurora and then look at her test results are puzzled because of the dichotomy between how she appears in person versus how she appears on paper.

Wil and I, however, don't see the dichotomy. The assessments that have been conducted are dead-on for the Aurora we know. Because of this, 4 different professionals have recommended we find a way to put Aurora into an environment where she will spend extended time with other adults to see if those adults see the same issues and how severe the issues are. So, starting next Monday, Aurora will be attending preschool 9 hours a week (2 days a week, 4.5 hours each day). It's not a lot but hopefully it will give us the information we need and give me the break I need to be able to engage Aurora when she's home.

That's the other side of the issue: I'm hitting my limit of meeting her needs. As every mother does, I have poured myself into getting to know my child and finding out how she ticks. I've researched, sought advice, and worked things out. I know her better than anyone else on this planet but I'm at a point where I don't know what she needs or what will help her handle the world better. I feel like we've tried everything, found the things that work best for her, and it's still not good enough. There is either something that we're totally missing or there's something extra going on here. We aren't sure what it is, which is why we are seeking professional help. I cannot give her what she needs and I have exhausted the limits of my knowledge and energy. I've been working on the bare minimum for the past couple months and it shows.

So that's the hole I've been hiding in for the past 6 or so months. Hopefully soon I'll be able to catch up on blogging but it's not the priority. I mainly want to keep blogging because it's the only place I record our family's adventures and stories. For now, I'm trying to keep up on my picture a day blog and our Tumblr.